© enterprizer
posted 9 hours ago with 16,962 notes
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perks-of-being-chinese:

when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit

posted 9 hours ago with 4,174 notes
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avengersonna:

pukiehemmings:

This is how I die.

He looks like a dad

avengersonna:

pukiehemmings:

This is how I die.

He looks like a dad

Source:pukiehemmings
posted 9 hours ago with 174,471 notes
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colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

posted 9 hours ago with 487,096 notes
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humorously:

skarosoul:

endermisha:

bmoburns:

preteenager:

HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING

HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING

image

this is the most majestic thing i have ever seen in my entire life 

it’s like a ballet

 

posted 9 hours ago with 146,850 notes
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jaclcfrost:

"how are you doing?"

[makes several vague hand gestures and various noises rather than giving an actual answer]

posted 9 hours ago with 16,522 notes
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posted 9 hours ago with 81,891 notes
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disneyineveryway:

the-wanted-thief:

How has no one done this yet!

this is cool af

disneyineveryway:

the-wanted-thief:

How has no one done this yet!

this is cool af

posted 9 hours ago with 166,218 notes
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fawun:

if any of you guys ever met me irl you would probably go to the nearest free wifi hotspot and unfollow me straight after

posted 9 hours ago with 95,454 notes
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afacebehindacamera:

This is a ‘where are you visting from?’ board at a local restaurant

afacebehindacamera:

This is a ‘where are you visting from?’ board at a local restaurant

Source:consumed-wanderlust
posted 9 hours ago with 54,486 notes
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killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

Source:timetoputonashow